Create More Time to Spend with the People & Groups You Most Enjoy
Create More Time to Spend with the People & Groups You Most Enjoy
You can do this without changing jobs... You can make the most of the time you already have... Then you'll be excited to create more free time for more awesome relationships & activities.
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We're going to do is help you look at how you can multiply awesome relationships, and this is really just about having more time for your best relationships and attracting more like them. And in the similar way that we talked about assets and liabilities and time wasters, I'm going to suggest that what we're looking to do is have more time around. The people talking with the people hanging out with the people were the communities that we enjoy. And probably one of the coolest things that I've seen, and I would not have believed this a year ago if you had told me this, when you look at or listen to what Chris was just talking about, of, you know, so much of his quality filters for how he looks at his personal relationships are very similar for the business, even though they're not exactly the same, but a very similar sense of looking for people who are loyal, being loyal, that sort of stuff.
I had a bias even that I couldn't meet this many awesome people in a work setting because I'd come from more of a corporate background and it's not the people there were not awesome. I met a lot of awesome people in the corporate background, but the background wasn't really there. It was like, OK, hey, kind of keep quiet, put your head down and do your work. So it didn't really facilitate that. And yet this work hosting events like this, connecting with people, connecting in the community that we have doing podcasts, you start connecting with people that are really doing awesome things.
And some of the people I've met on here that are in this community right now that are here to learn and, you know, it's funny, it just never ceases to amaze me how many people are in here that are brilliant and are doing well. Some of them are doing financially and exposure wise, far bigger than I am that are in here learning. And my guess is that's a lot of the reason why they're doing so well as they're doing.
So why don't I suggest to you is there's this idea of relationships, color or lenses in our world view. And so you might have heard the same of rose colored glasses, or sometimes I'll tell people, you know, if they're seeing things through that way, you get your poop colored glasses on like everything you're seeing looks like it's poop. I and I can use stronger words. I just try not to. But anyway, we all see the world from our own subjective point of view.
We don't see the world as it really is, but as we perceive it. And that's not to say there's no objective reality. It's just that we as humans, we're interesting. There's that country song which I love, God is great, beer is good and people are crazy. And I think there's a lot of truth to that. Our worldview and our perception. It can be changed by our mood, our confidence, our experiences, our health, our energy levels, our geography.
Shoot for me the amount of sugar I've just taken from the food I eat and our relationships affect our worldview, our world and everything in it. And so one of the best ways to improve our world is to improve our relationships. And so I remember hearing once in a book, I forget which book it was where the author simply said that one of the most important decisions you'll make. In your mind, in your world view, is what is your relationship with the universe, with your creator?
And the simple thing was, in this sense, do you believe that the creator is a benevolent being that has your best interests at heart, has given you life and is looking out for you? Or do you believe the creator, if there is one, if you believe that is out to get you and I'm not here to sell any point of view, but if I lean on my psychology background, I have a master's in psychology. Not that any person couldn't make the same observation.
The people that are more that see the world as a dangerous place, that are constantly we are the world's just a bad place. The world's in a bad situation. People are people are mean. People are not nice. Whether they're right or wrong, it really colors how they see things. And so they accept a less friendly world. They accept a less. Warm situation, and it makes me think of one of my clients said to his son once his son said, Dad, you know, you live in this sort of bubble world where people are really nice and a lot of your friends are successful and they're well-educated and they make money and they treat each other right and they're responsible, he said.
The son said to the dad, you know, the real world's not like that. And the father said, Son, I'm so glad you finally understood that. And I've been working my tail off teaching you and working to help you understand that, yes, there are parts of the world you don't want to be a part of and, you know, you want to be able to enjoy some of the nicer, more abundant, more loving parts of life.
And so much of that's going to be who you're around. You know, Juliana, Juliana excuse me, Cassiterite talked about it earlier. You know, the five people you spend time around that's been said in so many circles. And so I want you to consider is just like with what Rebecca talked about, of the things we bring into our world, what are the relationships. And so I'm going to do something in general you probably shouldn't do. But I, I think it works and it's worked for me.
It's definitely worked for me as a coach in sports to ask kids about intangibles with numbers. So when I'm coaching a team and either basketball or volleyball and and let's say they're not doing as well, say, hey, where's your energy level? At one to ten, they'll say, oh, it's at a five. OK, well, there's a five completely encompass everything. No, it doesn't. But they know what a five means. It means they could give more.
And so they say, OK, we need to get it. And they'll say, oh, it's about a six or seven, it's an eight or it's a ten or whatever. So in that sense, it might be impossible to accurately measure something, but we can measure how we feel about it. So, again, I'm not looking to measure Johnny or Susie or some organization. I'm not looking to tap into that level of judgmentalism because some of you all depend on what you study, in your view of the world, have experience that if you get too judgmental, that can be a not so good thing.
And yet we can talk about is there a match? Is there a fit not? Am I better than them or worse than them? But are we on the same vibe or in the same wavelength? And so we can evaluate our relationships without being negative or judgmental in the sense of how well they sort of fit with us. So we can't qualify. For example, excuse me, quantify the taste of chocolate or vanilla ice cream, but we can quantify how we feel about it, decide if we want more or less of it, and we can do this without being mean or nasty.
And that's probably one of the biggest things that I've been so impressed with, the energy of Chris Krimitsos and how he is. It's also, Debbie, I know you have this of you can still say, yeah, that that's not a good fix for me. That person is not a good fit right now or they're in a tough spot right now without being mean. And we can still choose what is for us and what's not. And so what I'm going to suggest to you is there are types of relationships that are either awesome or mediocre or bad.
And of course, you have twenty categories of these. If you want categorize categories these. But think about for a second now, I invite you to pause and again, you can be found along the workbook, but for a moment, just think for a second. How do you feel like in an awesome relationship? When people are supporting you, when people are nurturing you, when people are looking out for you. How does that feel? And how is that different from when you're in a mediocre relationship where and this could be business, professional, romantic friendship, kids, parents, friends, whatever it might be?
Mediocre relationship, bad, you know, they're not mean to me, you know, they call sometimes they kind of look out for me. They. What's that like, what's that feel like? And what is a bad relationship, if you like? And it doesn't have to be tragically bad, just not cool, a negative relationship, but not fun relationship. So maybe even bad might not even be the best word for that. And in each of those relationships, think about how you're treated.
And I'm not looking to go down the road of, well, I'm a victim and they did this to me and I said and they said and they said, well, how long you've been friends them? 20 years. OK, we'll move on. But in general, how are you treated? And what's your energy level like because of the way you're treated that, at least in my experience, comes full circle and then you give back within, it sort of reinforces itself.
How do people speak to you when you're in an awesome relationship? How do they communicate with you or even more so equally, how do you treat people well or how do you speak to people when you're treating them well in an awesome relationship? What's that like when it's mediocre or bad? And by the way, this could be the same person, it might be Wade. You know, this is when we're in a good space. Here's what it's like and how we speak to each other.
Here's what it's like when we're not in such a grateful space for each other, but we can tolerate each other. And here's what it's like when we're just mean to each other. What's that like? And how do you know, again, whether it's multiple relationships that fall in these categories with the same religion? How do you know when the relationships in an awesome space or the relationship is awesome? Versus mediocre versus bad. And now, as far as different relationships, where did you meet these people, she might say, Wade, I keep running these people and they're really, really nice.
I keep going to these conferences where people are learning and growing and evolving and sharing and supporting each other. I keep meeting awesome people. Great. Probably a good idea. Keep doing that now. And it might be you find patterns in other situations. And by the way, rhenium taken advice, almost went to the battle, not even to go there, although that's something nice to look at just to be aware of. And how does your life flow?
And this is one of the things I just realized is God of the interview with Chris, that something that just popped into sort of my mind was this this sense of. I feel very blessed that I've been able to, as an entrepreneur, do multiple things, but I've continuously invested in relationships with people that are high quality and somehow things seem to still work out, whether it's that karmic sense that Rebecca mentioned or just in a general sense of the things things are good, good relationships, good people, stuff keeps working and think about that.
So now you have in a sense now we're going to focus on those best relationships. Think about how are your areas of your life? We talked about spirituality, family, romance, friends, health fund, finance, career growth, giving, how are those impacted by awesome relationships versus mediocre relationships or bad relationships? And that could be business relationships. It could be personal issues. The great business relationship might help you make a lot of money. The great personal relationship might just simply inspired to be confident and take risks on yourself and grow and develop yourself versus vice the other side of perhaps the activities you get into in relationships.
Again, not that the person's bad, the relationships not so productive. I think I was going to put unproductive ones. I think it didn't fit in the fun. So I'm a I get a little bit more precise about my fonts anyway in that case than thinking about, again, if we use this concept of appraising the relationships to be really clear, there's you there's the other person. We're not judging you. We're not judging the other person. We're judging this this quality of this relationship according to you.
So it might not even be some objective. We're not going to have an argument about this with the other person. Well, I started it's a seven. It's not an eight, but just how it works for you. And if you think about this and the same thing, let's say your friends you go drinking with and I'm not here to judge drinking. I've done my share of drinking in the past. There's been good parts to it. There's been not so good parts to it overall.
Maybe it helps with the friends that maybe doesn't help with the health, it helps with the fun and maybe does help with the the the finance. So maybe that's kind of in between and depending on maybe the time in the setting, maybe in the right situation and maybe once in a while or whatever that works for you or not. Think about the spouse. That's awesome. Or the relationship. That's awesome. The friend. That's awesome. That really supports you and how that just impacts so many different dimensions of your life.
And also thinking again, also when you're that spouse. When you're that friend. When you're that partner. Think about that teacher you have that is just inspired you to be awesome, to grow, to learn and to serve and to enjoy life, how that impacts so many areas if you have a relationship with the Divine and if that's a positive relationship, in my case, it is, again, not here to preach on it, but that's something that's usually for people who enjoy that positive thing.
And then think of simply any relationship where you might sort of classify that person or that relationship again, even more so specifically, not even so much the person. But that relationship is an energy draining relationship. What's that like? How does it drain or impact so many areas of your life? And then again, like we did with our assets or time wasters or liabilities, think about what are some of the worst relationships and this one particular one, I'm going to suggest to you that you might not even write down the name.
You might write down the initials. You might not even write it down, because this is this one particular area can be an area where if you dwell on it, it can be, oh, well, now I'm a victim and now I'm going down and it's their fault. I'm not looking to do that with this. I'm looking just to for some people, you might say I Wade you know what? That was not productive. And again, maybe even worse is too strong of a word.
But there are some people that sometimes do have really bad relationships, so I still don't hedge on that. But what are those relationships that you could do without those? What would be some relationships that are mediocre and you might say, OK, they're OK, and so I Wade some of them, you know, if if it's a mediocre family relationship, you might say, well, wait, I'll stay in. That's family. But if it's a bad family relationship and say, wait, I'm going to kind of pull away from that or at least minimize my time with that person, and then what are some of the best relationships?
And again, these can be personally, professionally and again, a lot of this time you're going to want to do, of course, outside. Of this. And then any other relationships that you invest a lot of time in, so it could be where you work, it could be any sort of area that you're frequently there, invest a lot of time with. And then just as we did before, look at and again, you can change the relationship score, not to just decide you want to do the math, but, you know, which are the relationships that you want to focus on making some shift in, whether it be you want to invest more time there or you want to shift it in some way and say, what's that relationship?
How many hours a month you invest in there? How many hours would you like to be investing in this one shift right here? So Wade, you know, these are some of the most important people in my life. I need not spend enough time with my friends, my family, my my loved ones, whatever that is. I'm spending one hour a month. I'd like it to be three to four or five hours or whatever it might be.
And then that's a little change. You can literally that's just the math there. How many what's the difference? What would you do with these hours and what's your target date? And so, again, what I'm going to suggest to you is this is a very simple exercise. There's not a lot of. Fanciness to it, but it can be a very powerful exercise when it's done well and can be very nurturing and developing for people. So this is going to be something that you can take action on that I'm going to suggest you take maybe one of them per month even, hey, one per month.
I'm going to start making changes in how I invest my time. And if you haven't noticed that, I might not have singled this out to say we're talking about a lot of things here that can be shifted without you even having to change jobs, things that happen in your personal lifetime. You know, your time outside of work. And then as an invitation. Start one potentially awesome relationship either each week or each month or whatever time it is good for you.
There's so many different ways you can find them, either friends of existing relationships, physical places, certainly online podcasts, events like this in the communities relate to this. And seek to initiate at least one new relationship per week. Focus on making connections with people who seem awesome and being awesome to them, don't worry about the speed or the depth, the relationship, don't worry who's getting what. You can control your activity, but not which relationships develop, don't track it, don't obsess over it, just be someone.
It's like this again. I see so much of this done what Chris has done and just plant seeds like a farmer and knowing that those seeds might or might not grow over time and plant enough seeds. With love and friendship. And some of them are going to grow. And so I'm going to suggest you, as I did the other one, as you start doing this and you take action on this, then you're going to start looking at milestones to say, OK, over time, Wade again, I can focus on all of these areas, the relationships I already have the time I already have the money, I already have the things I already have without changing jobs.
And I can start looking at these different ways to say, well, my relationship with with God or spiritual practice, time for family gatherings, social gatherings, romantic gathering, time to be fully present for family meals for family members. This is a huge one. No.7 forgiveness practice to maintain health and to heal just. Letting things go, there's different prayers is the thing that I've used, that I learned from Deepak Chopra years ago of just thinking of things that are upsetting and just releasing them, letting them go.
And going back to number four here, if you don't have a romantic relationship and might be just spending time with yourself and giving yourself a nice dinner, taking yourself to a nice restaurant, that sort of stuff, that sounds kind of corny or cheesy, but treating yourself the way. You know, you want to be treated, contact an important long distance relationships, so that's become so much easier now that people are more connected, getting ideally and again, these are mastery.
These are goals that would be more of the level of mastery, zero time in organizations and companies you do not respect or believe in. And then ideally less than one hour per week with people or groups you don't wish to see.