213. Embrace Your Awesomeness - Overcoming Imposter Syndrome to Make a Positive Impact

If you are not aware of how awesome you are, and you're not aware of what you can do, it's going to cost you because you're not going to get the clients you could get.

You're not going to help them the way you could help them. You're not going to be confident in explaining to the marketplace what you are doing clearly.

And​

What's it costing the world for you? Not to fully believe in yourself. There's a concept called imposter syndrome based on the idea that very often as human beings. We don't fully appreciate what we are able to do. And when we look to promote ourselves, we look to tell others about what we do that is great and helpful and valuable and awesome. That we often shrink. We are perhaps so focused on our shortcomings that we become blind to things that we do in amazing way. Most of us probably know people who are not as successful as we think they should be.

And maybe they have a hard time promoting themselves. Or athletes that are almost ridiculously humble and unaware of how much they help the team or their cause. So this concept of humility and understanding that we don't want to necessarily. Be constantly bragging about what we do can be very helpful. But it can be harmful to ourselves and the people around us. If it keeps us from understanding what our talents are. And then keeps us from letting other people know that we could actually help them. So there's a few ways that people deal with imposter syndrome.

One of the most popular ways that people deal with not being as good as they'd like to be is the fake it till you make it strategy. Now I am extremely against the strategy for two reasons. The second reason is because it's dishonest. And for a lot of people, that's the first reason, but that's actually my second reason.

My first reason. Is because. It makes you admit that you stink at something that you're horrible at something, and you're coming in, in this weaker, psychological position of saying, wow, I can't do this. And now I've got to pretend that I can do something I can't do. And so energetically you're already in a weak position. Rather than pretending you can do five things at an awesome level and faking it. Find the one or two things that you actually do at an awesome level and focus on those and be honest about the things you can't do yet, but that you're growing into.

I know as I've worked with clients on new projects, new software projects, new coaching programs. I would often tell that first group. That you are my founder's group or my pioneers or whatever words you want to use, but I'd say you're not my beta group.

Here's why. I know this content because I've lived this content and that's the type of content that I choose to teach. What I haven't yet learned is the best way to teach it to you. So it might take me a little longer than I'd like, it might take you a little longer than the next person to get it done.

And yet here's what you're going to get. Number one, I am going to charge a smaller investment simply because it's going to take me a longer time to get you there. And for me, A variable is time. If I told you I could make you a million dollars in 20 years or in 20 minutes. You'd buy the 20 minutes version and it would cost you more. And so the other part to that though, is to say, look, while you're doing this with me, this new program, this new product, this new thing that I'm not fully sold on exactly how to do it. You're going to get access to me.

So the next group is not going to get as much access to me. And by the second or third time I deliver this. I'm going to have other people doing the implementation or the coaching of it, or the tech support, if it's a software, whatever that might be. And that doesn't mean it's going to be worse, but you're going to be in that first group that gets to learn something that gets to then give me feedback and shape what's going to be in the future versions of this software or this coaching program or whatever it is that I'm doing.

So again, I can avoid being an imposter by being clear about where I'm at. Being clear about my shortcomings, but not leading with them. I mean, if I came up to you and said, Hey, here's all these things that are horrible about me.

Do you want to do business with me? You'd probably say no thanks. It's like when somebody comes to you. And they say, Hey, this tastes awful. You want to try it? You're like, no, I don't want to try. You told me it tastes awful. So we want to be able to be clear about what we're awesome at, because here's the cost of this.

If you are not aware of how awesome you are, and you're not aware of what you can do, it's going to cost you because you're not going to get the clients you could get.

You're not going to help them the way you could help them. You're not going to be confident in explaining to the marketplace what you are doing clearly.

And I'm not talking about BS-ing or over hyping stuff. You're going to be so down about your stuff that you're not going to be able to say, this is what I do. And I've done this personally myself.

If it's not something that's helpful, it's not something that's powerful. And

when I've done it, I. I kind of almost, you know, my energy is like apologizing for serving instead of saying, Hey, this is what this does. It doesn't do these two other things and the person might say, Wade, does it do these two other things I really want?

Nope, it doesn't, but it does these three things awesomely. And that of course is usually designed for some of my best customers, my ideal group. And if that ideal group says, Wade, do you know what we'd also like to do these other two things. Great. Then I'll pilot a program that does that. I'll work with you on that.

And again, that'll be my next pilot program. My next founder's group. My next pioneers group.

Now, when it comes down to the cost to you, this is where sometimes you can get trapped in this, or at least I have. I happen to be very aware of. At least, I think. What's going on in the world and in the sense of abundance.

So I was raised that if you have a lot of abundance, It's your job. It's your duty to share that with others and help others become more abundant. And I still believe that that's awesome. Lesson. And yet. Because I can be a bit of an intense thinker or I can be almost so all in, on things. That belief taken to an extreme can turn into.

Wow. I feel really bad that I have abundance and other people don't. I feel horrible. There are people starving in the world. There's people that don't have water or the people that are unemployed. And there's a saying that I love by Wayne Dyer, that he says you can't get poor enough to help somebody else get rich. You can't get weak enough to help somebody else get strong.

So what we can do is deliver value and be awesome for our customers. And create abundance and then share that abundance. And if you feel like you're making too much money, who knows, maybe you are, maybe you shouldn't be sharing more now should is an interesting word, so everyone has got their own kind of view of the world, but maybe it'd be helpful for you to share it more. But what I'm gonna suggest to you is

when you do the imposter syndrome thing and you talk yourself down, and you won't accept what you're worth.

What happens then is a few things. Number one, the customers, the clients who really need your transformation. They don't come to you. So if you are grossly under priced for your product or your service, people are going to assume it's not good enough. And so now that person who could have had an awesome transformation, isn't going to get that.

Now, let me be really clear. If your product stinks, that's a different story. If your products experimental then say, Hey, it's experimental, I'm doing this experimental group. I'm more focusing on things that you've delivered on that, you know, work. And so again, you talking it down or you taking your candle and hiding it under a bushel.

That's not a good thing. The second thing is it's not just costing you, it's costing your customers. It's costing their customers. It's costing their employees. It's costing their loved ones and the people in their community that they can't get. The transformation you offer, if what you do is something that really helps them.

And it doesn't have to be the greatest thing in the world. It could be that they have the right insurance coverage. It could be that they have a good exercise plan. It could be that they're eating healthy as long as it's something that would make their life better than them not getting it from you or from somebody is not a good thing. And then in addition to that,

when you engage too much in this imposter syndrome, one of the worst things that comes out of this. Is, if you're a parent, you then teach your children to do this. You teach your children to be ashamed of their gifts or to hide their gifts, or to have this sort of false modesty about what their gifts are.

Look, if you can do a Rubik's cube in three seconds, and I asked you how quickly can you do a Rubik's cube? You telling me 30 seconds. That's not modesty. That's a lie. You can do it in three seconds. Great. That's probably a really quick amount of time, but the concept is, if you can do things, the world's going to need your talents.

We don't need that false modesty. And we certainly don't need the imposter syndrome. We want you to be able to embrace what you do and clearly communicate that. being clear about what you do awesome. Not helping you. It's not a good sense of modesty. It's making you weaker. It's making your children weaker.

It's making your family weaker. And it's depriving the world of your gifts

because make no mistake,

There are plenty people who are horrible at what they do. But they are really great at selling it. And so if you are great at what you do, but horrible at selling it. Now we've got a problem because now the people that really need your transformation are not getting it.

You're undercharging. They're not getting the delivery. They need. Meanwhile, they're buying junk from somebody else who does not deliver, who does fake it till they make it. Who does know how to say the right words to get them to ping their credit card, but they're not delivering that transformation.

So here's what you can do about this.

First of all, is Start out with writing your awesomeness list. And what this is is you writing a list of all the things that are awesome about you. It could be the way you treat people. It could be what you aspire to do. It could be the type of parent or child or friend that you are. It could be that you are always doing your best.

It could be achievements that you've done. It could be things that you've tried that didn't work out, but you were bold enough to try them. It can be a whole different list of things. That, when you look at them and you go back to them and you're feeling kind of down, you read that you put it in your phone or somewhere that you have access to.

And you read that in your mind yourself. You know what? I'm pretty darn awesome. People are lucky to have me in their life. Not in some, uh, over a cocky way, but say, yes, it's a good thing. If you're in my life, uh, I'm, I'm a helpful person. I'm a good person. I'm looking to help people. And from that perspective, uh, that's a good thing.

The second thing. Is to

start writing awesomeness lists for people in your life. Write those lists. For your spouse, your kids, your parents, your friends. And share those with them. And if you want to go a step further, go on LinkedIn and you don't have to write it as an awesome listener. But wow. It's really hard to say.

Awesome. Awesomeness list. And that's how you can write recommendations for people on LinkedIn or Facebook or Yelp or TripAdvisor depends on what type of business they have. If they're a restaurant or whatever it might be. And say, here's, what's awesome about this business or this person. And then ultimately when you do that, some people will start giving that back to you. And specifically, if you want to hear from certain people, people, you respect people, you look up to people you've worked with, you know, what is it that you find that's awesome about what I do? And by the way, you can also write me a separate list on a different day about what you think I could do better, but right now I just want that awesomeness list. I want that list of things that I'm doing that make a difference for you to make an impact for you. So that when I'm delivering for my customers and my clients, and I'm setting a role model for my children and my grandchildren that I'm stepping into and I'm being the best version of myself that I can be.

And by my example, I'm teaching others do the same.

I hope this serves you. If you have any questions on this, please let me know. As always look forward to helping you be your absolute one, chosen percent best self. And deliver with your gifts and your genius to the world and make more money in less time.

Do what you do best by creating greater impact. And doing that in less time. So you can fully enjoy your family, your friends, your freedom. And your life. Thanks so much for listening.